Love Like Breathing

Summertime Living

Summer is here. That means we are enjoying easy days and sunshine. 

According to Katelynn, we’ve done “nothing fun and Summer’s almost over”. Well, it’s not almost over and we’ve had tons of fun. 

We VBS-ed our little hearts out. We’ve gone swimming at the city pool with our friends. We’ve gone to the movies and the sno-cone stand. 

But more importantly (and probably more to her point) we’ve learned to do CHORES! All on our own. I had the bright idea that we would learn responsibility this summer. For  three weeks (or the whole summer if you ask K), I’ve hidden the remotes, the iPad, and the old iPhones every morning when I leave for work. 

Here is their morning routine:

I have these posted by the fridge. Each morning my sweet little pre-teens stand glaring at this as they decide what’s the minimum they can do to get access to the remotes. 

It has been so nice to come home from work to a clean house. It has been so nice to imagine my children cheerfully cleaning and caring for our home whilst I’m away.  

Of course, it’s been more like this…

(Hangry anyone?)

Please understand we aren’t reading. We are writing random Proverbs verses or drawing pictures instead.  We have a sour attitude toward words and books so we tabled it for June with good intentions of picking up a good book in July. I’m willing to sacrifice my children’s education for clean floors! 

How are you surviving summer? Are you the children’s summer cruise director or do you spend the summer working on your tan? 

Whatever your summer looks like, I hope it’s full of laughter and good times for your family. 

Farming ain’t easy

 It’s springtime here on the farm. 

It’s also springtime at your house, so I guess that’s not a real surprise. However, we’ve got all the farm stuff happening so I thought I would share some pictures. 

   

I need to name this chicken. She’s the only one that leaves the pen. Every. Day. I catch her and put her back in (after a little chase and a little frustration). Let’s call her Gretchen. 

After planting the garden, I placed all of the tags by each plant so that I could tell which peppers were jalapeño and which where banana peppers, which plant was cantaloupe and which was watermelon, etc. Gretchen walked through the garden and removed all the tags. We watched her walk by and pull the tag from the ground. 

Gretchen also lays her eggs on some hay on the burn pile behind the shop. We found 5 there the first day we discovered them. And she leaves the pen everyday to lay her egg for the day on the burn pile. 

  

The chickens are spoiled. They like fruit and veggie scraps and will meet me at the gate when they see me coming. 

  

Never have picked this one up. She’s nosey but fast when I reach down to get her. 

  

The view from the back of the chicken pen. They are in a fence area where our fruit trees are planted.  

  

This is our blackberry bush. I had to put chicken wire around it to keep Gretchen and the other girls out. I don’t want to share the blackberries. 

  

Here are today’s eggs. (And some cows in the background). We have about 18 eggs a day. Today I found 21 (which is impossible since we have 19 chickens).

  

   
See that black spot? There was a plant there. I don’t know which plant since Gretchen remove the tags. She finished her job by pulling this plant out completely. I think she hates me. 

 
Here’s the garden. This was a few days ago. The plants have already grown. My goal is to harvest enough to share with the neighbors at the community garden. If that plan fails, maybe I can barter with our eggs. 

So we are settling in. Naming chickens and wearing mud boots because chickens are pretty gross. You should come out. It’s really not that farm-y and I’m sure real farmer would laugh at my city-girl attempts. I’ll get there eventually and we will laugh at Gretchen and our garden attempts. 

We are struggling with growing up in a small town and being the new kids at school. I feel like we meet new people every week. And God has been faithful to not let me stew in my loneliness. 

I’m building our farm and my tribe (and it may include our good friend Gretchen).

Floor Ham and Easter Eggs

Lent is over. I didn’t stick with it. I didn’t finish my photo of the day with Rethink Church. I didn’t get all of the 40 days with Jesus written down. I skipped pages in my Lent book at the end.  

I forgot that sister still believes in the Easter bunny and had to rush to CVS last night to load up on all things Easter and keep the charade going for another holiday. 

  
I did not buy new clothes for the family. We did not match at church this morning. I did not get a picture of us together at church. 

We were late to a packed church. 

I dropped the platter of pineapple slices and ham on the floor as I was transferring it to the table. 

I started sobbing as I hovered over the mess. This type of meal is so stressful for me and another “failure” for the day was more than I could handle. 

I faked a nap after lunch because I didn’t want to get up and pretend I was excited about hiding eggs outside…

In spite of all that….

We celebrated his resurrection at church. We observed the Lord’s Supper. All of my people have accepted Jesus Christ as our Savior. Our family of four observed and discussed how today changes everything.

  
My kids are dying Easter eggs and have decided to have an Easter egg hunt this afternoon to celebrate a special day with our family. Because floor ham doesn’t determine if this is going to be a good day.

But more than that….

Jesus’ empty tomb means that SHAME has no ground on which to stand. 
He is risen. And it changes everything. 

Covenant

Covenant: an agreement.

Handsome and I entered into a covenant on June 2, 2001. About 15 years ago I was beginning to stress about all the details for that day. We had only been engaged for 2 weeks but I knew we had to get the balls rolling in the right direction.

Our story isn’t miraculous. Our story has ups and downs. At one point there were so many tears I wasn’t sure we would make it. We had a kid…and then survived a second pregnancy and two children under 3.

I believe he is the most beautiful man I have ever seen. I believe he loves so deeply that it hurts him. I believe he could change the world if he wanted to. I believe he puts our family at the front of his mind every second of the day.

Years ago, I learned to love him even when I didn’t like him much. I’ve told countless young girls that it was important that your husband was hot…because when he makes you mad, and he will, it helps that you think he is beautiful when you look at him.

We were hurting deeply after my dad’s stroke. Part of me died the weeks after my dad’s stroke and it threatened to destroy my marriage.

To survive, I began praying EVERYDAY for God to “show me how to love him…today”.

I would tell God “he was dumb” and “needed a good kick in the shins” BUT “God please show me how he needs me to love him today”.

Or, “please show me how I can honor him today…even if I don’t want to”.

I don’t have to pray this as much anymore. I’m thankful that my love for Handsome grew exponentially at a time when so many marriages crumble.

A promise to love is hard. It takes work. It takes years. It takes an uncomfortable vulnerability. And it takes prayer. Loving the ugly isn’t easy. But it’s so worth trying.

It also helps that he is a beautiful man!

Joyfully full of it!

Tiff

Friendship

Day 2 of my February photo challenge is friendship.

This one is hard. Whether new or old, love is such a big part of friendship for me. 

I love my friends from Ennis, from ETBU, from UMHB (the one I still talk to), from Sam Houston and Huntsville, from Tyler/Flint and now from Gladewater and all y stop along the way.

So instead of picking a favorite friend, I decided to post a picture of my written in bible. 

I’m learning about Jesus being my friend as we walk through so many hard things. 

  
There has got to be something to this recurring “love” theme…

Barefoot and Broken

We live in a broken world.  

 Sometimes I forget that. I get all caught up in the mundane irritations and find myself completely blindsided by this fact. And there is nothing I can do about it…is there?

As I drove down a road I take multiple times per day, a young girl darted out in front of my car and ran down the road in front of me. She was barefoot and had on oversized fleece pants and a tshirt. She made it to the corner and collapsed on the curb.

I looked at the building I had passed and saw a young man obviously looking for something. 

At the stop sign, I could see her sobbing. I wanted to help. I wanted to “be Jesus to her”. I wanted to not drive away worried about her. 

But that’s what I did. I didn’t feel safe. (I’m such a snob). I didn’t want to be nosey. (What an excuse). I didn’t have the nagging feeling that I was supposed to stop…so I drove on to work. 

So many senarios rolled around in my head. What if she’s hurt? What if she just needed a ride? What is it was just a lover’s spat that will be fixed with an apology and a hug? What if stopping makes her situation worse? What if stopping makes me a part of a situation? 

I did the only thing I felt equipped and led to do…I prayed for her. Which, to be honest, feels like a lazy and cowardly way to help. 

I know we are here for a reason. I know God is leading me and my family to serve and love in our new place. I also know that I can’t fix all the hurts or the broken because there is just too much of it. 

What would you do? How do you handle these unexpected reminders of our broken world?

-Tiff
Heavenly Father, I feel knotted and sad. The glimpse of something different from my life today made me realize that you probably see so much broken each day. I really don’t know how to pray for the young girl. Please help her find what she needs. Whatever it is. Please give her hope and comfort. Maybe she already has that and what I saw was out of the ordinary for her. If so, thank you. 

God how do I love this broken world? What steps do I follow to love people well and help them? How can my family love this community? Please give us a heart of thankfulness and open our eyes to how we can do something rather than just driving by. Amen

Pens and busted bubbles

I love calendars. And pens. And all office supplies. 

A new pen can brighten my day and give me new perspective. I collect them worse than shoes. I feel like a new pen can help me conquer the world. 

So imagine my delight when the new year rolls around and new calendars/planners/pens are all around. 

I’m a scheduler. And an over-committer. They are very much related. And they are all written down in my multiple calendars. 

The fridge synopsis has only the week’s activities listed with which kid and time and where to be. 

The wall calendar (by the fridge) has the entire year planned out and neatly color coated by person. 

The desk calendar at work has some kid stuff penciled in and all the work weeks lined out all the way to 2017. 

The purse calendar is where I write to keep up on the go (instead of using my phone….I just can’t). 

The planner that I have worked the hardest on is a work in progress. It required new pens. And stickers. And a binder cover. And colors and highlights and flags. 

But today I feel overwhelmed with all the things penciled in and color-coated. Today the reality that my kids go back to school tomorrow has weighed me down. Please understand that I’m usually looking forward to missing them when they go back to school. Their time at school (and not in my office) allows me to miss them and be excited about picking them up from school. 

  
Today as we drove to work and I looked over at my messy haired mini-me, I was hit with a real miss of their fun and funky selves. They will be gone tomorrow. Our Christmas bubble will pop in the morning and all of the world with its hurried-ness and hairiness will barge in without an invite. I will begin competing for their minds and hearts against a world that desires to turn all that is good into something more mature and worldly and loud. 

Do you feel this rush around you? Are you planner-ing and feeling the dread of how colored your days seem to be? 

This year I’m asking God to refine me. This may include a release of my pens and schedule. It may include and expansion of my protective bubble to people that aren’t my family. It may mean leaving any resemblance of a comfort zone in order to serve and be used for His purpose.

It means that I’m looking forward to being uncomfortable and challenged with a boat-load of unexpected blessings along the way. 

It’s not a resolution. It’s a proclamation.

This year I want to Love like breathing…without planning or thinking.

Join me? What are you proclaiming or resoluting in 2016?

Tiff